in

• Issue 3
• Food and Travel

There are at least 40 different types of rain in Ireland. I should know I spent a week's holiday there staring out windows cataloguing the downpours.

There's the soft rain so constant, almost ephemeral, that hardly anyone notices it. This is idiomatically interrupted by the down pouring of domesticated animals - other types of rain in the 24/7 cycle are torrential, drizzling, pissing, spitting, lashing, soaking, driving, heavy - the list of adjectives goes on.

Ireland's constant rain cycle explains two immediate things to the visitor; firstly why the country is greener then Greenland, it's like one big golf course with housing estates dotted round the fairways. And when it rains the whole of Ireland moves indoors and where better to head for than a pub, or ten (thousand).


I spent a week in Ireland confining myself to two counties on the south coast, Cork and Kerry. Ireland is one of the smallest countries in Europe and you could travel the length of it easily in one day it weren't for its creaking infrastructure. Every town and city in Ireland is backed up with traffic and as all roads and rail lead to Dublin the country is as frustrating to drive in as Los Angeles except with half the people, minus the six lane highways and heat waves.


I landed in the newly built terminal at Cork International Airport, on the pilot's second attempt. Cork Airport was built on a hill of near permanent fog so when the pilot made his first attempt to descend and dipped out from under the think blanket or fog (and rain) he realised that was miles off the runway-hence the abrupt ascent. Anyway I was glad that we landed and didn't have to re-route to Shannon Airport- the country's second airport further up the west coast

As it was raining on landing I decided to devote much of my week to pub-crawling; to meet people that is of course.

Whatever notions you have of an Irish pub from the one you might have visited in Tokyo or near the top of Everest or on the slopes of Matchu Pitchu or whatever other unlikely place - well discard them. They are about as Irish as a frankfurter.

An Irish pub should have a character all of its own. Usually this is as result of being welcoming, convivial, entertaining and of course the alcohol. Unfortunately many of modern Ireland's pubs are about as enjoyable as spending time in an airport hangar, or worse on a transatlantic Ryan Air flight.
Fortunately there are still pubs that exist through out the country where it is possible to escape bachelor parties and 15-year-olds on drinking binges.

The best pubs are those that are still family run, the family name adorns the front of the house and where the bar man or woman is as likely to ask you your shoe size and post code as they are your order.

It's likely also that people will sing and play traditional music in these pubs for no other reason than that they enjoy entertaining and that the ballad is a story best told through song. When this happens a hush falls over the pub and it is best to keep shush and listen.

So where are these pubs? Well they exist in a shrinking part known as real Ireland. You'll just have to dig them out. OK here's a hint they're not in Soho or across the road from the Eiffel Tower. And bring an umbrella.

 

 

 

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